I just finished my first year of grad school?!?

Whoa.

Life is crazy sometimes, you know? For instance, on this day last year, I had just accepted admission to Michigan, and there is a 98% chance I was freaking out/trying not to think about it. Today, I’ve just finished my first year of grad school, and there is a 98% chance I am freaking out/trying not to think about it.

Just kidding.
Mostly.

In all honesty, today I’ve been thinking about the crazy journey that this last year has been. So, here commences a sappy reflections post. Continue reading at your own risk.
Large parts of the drama are already on this blog, so I’ll try not to reiterate.

Last April, my dad took me on a road trip to Ann Arbor to come to admitted students day at the school of public health. I spent the whole day listening to faculty talk about how passionate they were about teaching and listening to staff give us every possible resource we could ever need. I listened to a student panel talk about their experiences here and their fancy internships and I wondered how their lives could possibly be so successful. Despite my disbelief that I could possibly live up to that standard, I left that day convinced that Michigan was the right choice for me.

In August I started my coursework in the general epidemiology track.. because I had no idea what I wanted to specialize in. When I looked at the two-year plan for the track though, I was daunted by the amount of biostats and programming I was going to have to learn. Also, my “Intro to Epidemiology” class was the least introduction-like class I had ever taken.

Cue overwhelming anxiety.

Little did I know, though, that those classes were going to be some of the most fun I had ever taken. It was really challenging, but I felt encouraged to meet every challenge. Everything I learned fascinated me and I was so excited to keep moving deeper into my field. Through our broad introduction to all the areas of epid, I realized what I actually want to do. I want to be.. *drumroll please* ..an infection preventionist!

This is where I picture you going:

Which makes sense. But the job feels like what my brain was created for, you know? It’s a combination of all of the things that make me nerd out and get a little too excited when I talk about them – all of those things that make people’s eyes glaze over as soon as I get really into it.

So in February, with much anticipation, I applied for an internship in infection prevention (thank you Benjamin!) and waited in suspense for WEEKS. Finally after a ridiculous amount of “Anne, there’s nothing you can do about it now, let it goooo” self-peptalks, I got an interview and a placement! I’m going to be one of two interns in the biggest network of hospitals in Detroit! My supervisor seems fantastic, and I am really excited to be able to learn from people that are enthusiastic about these things as I am.

All of these things seemed like the most ordinary possible events in my life. I stressed about classes, stressed about tests, stressed about applications (you get the idea), but I just took everything one day at a time. I didn’t realize that all of those days added up to some pretty cool things. Until this April, that is.

I am an ‘admissions ambassador’ for our school, and they asked me to be part of a student panel on admitted students day. The administrators chose me to be one of the few students representing our school to the hundreds of possible new recruits. I was enthusiastic as always to keep ambassadoring (ambassadorizing?) and lead tours, answer questions, that kind of thing. It didn’t hit me basically until I was standing in front of the crowd of admitted students that I am that successful Michigan student that I wondered at. I am that confident and collected and excited student that has nothing but opportunities in front of her.

Who’d’ve ever seen that one coming, right? Certainly not me.

So now that I’m on the other side of the school year and have had a chance to actually reflect on all of this, here is where I am:
I am very thankful that my perception is not always correct.
I’m thankful to look back and see God’s provision in my life even though I was questioning him every step of the way.
And I am ridiculously thankful for the people that took all of my anxiety in stride and supported me even when I was frustratingly incorrigible.

My life has been so blessed – both by the friends I had to move away from and by the ones that I was lucky enough to meet here. I’ve learned a lot this year, and I think I’ve even grown a little bit, too. So thank you all for supporting me through all of my quavering and uncertainty and through the surprising journey that this year has been. I can only hope that some day I’ll have the opportunity to show you as much love as you’ve shown me.

Thank you, everyone.

BUT WHOOO THAT WAS A LOT OF FEELINGS, WASN’T IT?
Here is an adorable gif to lighten this back up, as a thank you for making it all the way to the end of that maelstrom.

..I find that otters are perfect for pretty much every situation.

So thanks again, all you wonderful people. I’ll try to write about my internship as soon as I can. Until then, goodbye!